railway crossing
by Misila
Summary: "You could call, this time." Rin's curious expression turned into a surprised one. Then he looked away, but not before Haruka could catch a glimpse of what looked like guilt in his eyes. "I…" he started, exhaling a long sigh. "It's not like the last time, okay? It's different now. I'm different now."


_Free!_ doesn't belong to me. Neither does _High Speed!_

* * *

 ** _railway crossing_**

.

 _Iwatobi had gone dark hours ago, nothing but the stars outside. The sky looked empty without the moon lighting it up._

 _In an old house at the top of a long stone stairway, the bed didn't creak anymore; the two bodies laying on it weren't moving, but tangled around each other while they slowly regained their breath. They should be sleeping, but neither of them wanted to waste their last hours together dreaming about the person in his arms._

 _Blue eyes opened slowly, their owner's forehead nudging the other's shoulder._

 _"_ _Rin."_

 _Rin's right leg, hooked with Haruka's left one, pulled him even closer._

 _"_ _Hm?"_

 _Gently disentangling himself from Rin, Haruka sat up, hovering over him until his shadow covered his boyfriend's face. He swallowed, trying to stop his heart from speeding up again as he stared right into Rin's expectant eyes._

 _"_ _You could call, this time." He forced himself to not look away. His left hand, the one that laid on Rin's chest, closed into a fist. "Please."_

 _Rin's curious expression turned into a surprised one. Then he looked away, but not before Haruka could catch a glimpse of what looked like guilt in his eyes._

 _"_ _I…" he started, exhaling a long sigh. "It's not like the last time, okay? It's different now._ I _'m different now." Rin's hand searched Haruka's, the other one finding its way to the back of Haruka's neck and pulling him down softly. Their fingers intertwined just as their lips met._

 _"_ _I'll call you. Every day."_

.

Rin didn't call every day.

Haruka didn't either; between classes, swimming practices and his part-time job, he hardly had time to take a rest, and though he would spend hours in the computer, talking to Rin as if there weren't an entire ocean between them, when he got home he was usually too tired to do anything but sleep. And judging by Rin's yawns the first weeks he'd spent in Sydney, it was the same for him.

So they only talked on weekends. It wasn't what Haruka had wished– it wasn't enough.

Then again, with Rin everything was too few or too much; nothing was ever the right amount, because if it were they'd stop moving… they'd stop making sense, in that strange way of theirs.

They managed to make it work. Despite not seeing him every day, his cell phone was a constant reminder of Rin's presence; he often sent him photographs of the beach, of the pools he swam in, of Russell playing with Winnie. Haruka never knew what to answer (what was he supposed to reply to a pic of a cockatoo with a _he is more talkative than you_ attached to it, anyway?), so he sent Rin photos of his doodles– or at least of some of them.

But it was never enough. Rin was still four thousand miles away, his hair didn't look red enough in the computer screen and the distance distorted his voice as if reminding Haruka of the cruel lie their calls were.

Yet time passed, unbelievably fast when Haruka looked at the calendar, unbearably slow in the long nights he couldn't sleep and Rin's absence burnt his skin. Winter came, and with it the day Haruka had been yearning for.

The day Rin would come back.

.

Haruka had his things packed up in his apartment since last night, even though Rin's flight wasn't supposed to land on Tokyo until the evening. If anyone asked, he'd deny being harbouring an anxiety of sorts born out of nerves; he was just making sure he wouldn't make Rin wait; he'd be probably tired when he arrived.

 _This is stupid_ , he told himself for the seventh time in the day as he got out of the bathtub. He shouldn't worry; there _wasn't_ any logical reason for him to feel this uneasiness. Rin was fine and swimming and it was just reasonable that he'd missed their weekly online date twice to go out with his Australian friends. Nothing in his last texts indicated that there was anything wrong with him.

Haruka exhaled slowly. He suddenly felt like spending the day in the bathtub, but he had things to do before coming back to Iwatobi.

He was having his breakfast when his phone rang. It wasn't a message, so at first Haruka wasn't interested, but his attention perked up when he read Rin's name on the screen. He frowned as he put the phone next to his ear and picked it up.

"Rin?"

"Haru. Hey." Rin sounded tired.

"Hey," Haruka muttered back, his frown deepening. "Shouldn't you being… in your plane?"

Rin let out a dry laugh.

"Yes, I _should_. But there's a strike or something here, and all the flights have been cancelled." Haruka gripped the phone tighter. "So… I'm stuck here until people want to work again…" Rin must have realized something was wrong, despite Haruka keeping quiet, because he trailed off. "Hey. Are you alright?"

Haruka pursued his lips.

"Yeah."

Both of them knew it was a lie.

"Okay," Rin sighed. "Then– you have to go back to Iwatobi, don't you?" Haruka nodded, not realizing Rin couldn't see him. Apparently his boyfriend didn't expect an answer, though. "I'll see you there."

Haruka kept staring at his phone long after Rin had hung up, barely able to reply to his boyfriend's goodbye. He looked at his packed things, then at the mackerel he didn't want to eat anymore.

Now he felt stupid. He'd been so excited about today, and now the reason was stuck in Australia.

.

The train ride to Iwatobi was bitter.

But mostly, it was lonely. It wasn't the first time Haruka covered that distance alone, and it sure wouldn't be the last one, but not having expected it made it worse, and he didn't want to think about how he'd gotten carried away over something he shouldn't have taken for granted so easily.

Makoto noticed, of course. When he went to the train station to welcome Haruka home, there was a question on the tip of his tongue, one he knew better than to ask. He waved Haruka goodbye shortly after getting to his house and invited him over for dinner. Haruka supposed he knew about Rin thanks to Gou.

Not that he asked.

For the next two days, Rin didn't send him more texts, as if he somehow sensed Haruka's mood wasn't the best. Haruka didn't ask anyone how long would it be until Rin could come back (even though he was almost sure Gou and Sousuke could tell him something useful), but he tried to come up with something to say, partly because he knew he was being childish, partly because he missed his phone constantly buzzing; but all he got were unfinished sentences and half-hearted lines he didn't even know what were supposed to be.

The third day, Haruka woke up to three texts. None of them was from Rin.

 _From: Nagisa  
02:56  
hey haru-chan let's go have dinner in that new restaurant with everyone. gou-chan says she'll pay everything_

 _From: Gou  
02:58  
Haruka-senpai, I never said that._

 _From: Nagisa  
03:01  
it's on rei-chan then_

Haruka didn't know what restaurant Nagisa was talking about, nor did he know why he and Gou had been awake (and together) last night at three in the morning, but he agreed to have dinner with his friends. He hadn't seen them all yet.

He spent the morning with Makoto's siblings, finally giving in to their desire to play with him. Pretending to be Ren's son wasn't the most entertaining task he could think of, but it was distracting enough so Rin wouldn't take over his mind, his presence reduced to the firm will to text him later.

After having lunch with the Tachibanas, though, Haruka excused himself; he still had time until the meeting and needed to buy the food he'd need for the weekend, so he went to his own house to put warmer clothes on.

.

Now that Ren and Ran weren't forcing him to eat imaginary vegetables, Haruka felt heavier. Because he had more clothes on, yes; but what weighed him down the most was his cell phone, innocently stuck into his pocket, brushing his fingers every now and then.

Haruka bit his lip, hiding his nose behind his scarf, not paying attention to his surroundings as he kept walking without really minding where he was going. The _later_ he'd used to soothe his conscience stung, and even though he still had no idea of what could be interesting enough to start a conversation with Rin he felt as if every minute they kept quiet the distance between them grew wider.

He looked around; there were houses on both sides of the street, and not a single thing stood out to Haruka. There wasn't even a stray cat meowling; the grey sky dulled the colours, making the world even more boring. Nothing that Rin would like.

 _This is stupid_ , he thought for the fiftieth time in three days.

And then, it clicked.

Haruka slowed his pace until his steps came to a halt, fishing his phone from his pocket. Wrote a quick text. Pressed _send_.

He took deep breaths as he lowered his hand and resumed walking.

He hadn't turned the corner when his phone buzzed.

 _From: Rin  
17:23  
ha! who's the corny one now?  
just kidding. me too._

Haruka smiled behind the scarf, his steps lighter than before, his hands warm despite the icy wind cutting his skin. He felt more stupid than ever, but also relieved. Because he had finally done what he'd wanted to do ever since he saw Rin's plane take off. And it was okay.

He didn't need any excuse to tell Rin he missed him. He only needed it to be true. And if the continuous, dull pain in his heart didn't mean it ached to see Rin again– well, then Haruka had been having a heart attack for months.

It wouldn't be long until it started raining, judging by the darker hue of the clouds. Haruka didn't mind the rain itself, but he didn't want the food to get spoiled, so he walked faster, keeping his phone in his hand in case Rin told him something else.

He'd never thought he, of all people, would become so attached to technology.

Then again, there had been a time when he was convinced Rin didn't want to have anything to do with him.

Haruka stopped before the railway crossing, checking his phone while he waited for the barriers to rise. He didn't find any texts from Rin, but he got one when he was going to put the device back into his pocket:

 _From: Rin  
17:33  
i'm sorry_

Haruka frowned. His first honest thought was _why?_ , but at this point even he could guess where Rin was coming from.

 _For: Rin  
you can't control planes_

He tore his gaze from the phone when he heard the clattering of the train coming close. There was a person in the other side of the railway who was also looking up from his phone, but the roar of the train as it passed between him and Haruka swallowed whatever sound he made.

It was as if the train kept clattering within Haruka's mind long after it passed. As the barriers rose, he just stood there, the hand that gripped his phone falling limply to his side, the hurry to buy before it started raining forgotten the moment his gaze landed on _those_ eyes.

Haruka stared and stared and stared, and remembered a time when he hadn't hesitated before running across the railway crossing.

This time, it was Rin the one who ran towards him. This time, the smile was in his eyes too, and there was nothing but warmth in Haruka even before two strong arms pulled him into a firm hug.

"Hey," Rin whispered into his ear, somehow awakening Haruka's body so his arms snuck around Rin's waist. "I'm back."

Haruka's grip around him tightened as a smile appeared on his face.

"I'm glad," he replied. His heart beat loud in his ears, and Haruka almost didn't hear his own voice. But he managed to pull back a bit, if only to look at Rin. He was the only colour in that cloudy day. "What about the strike?"

Rin looked away, but Haruka didn't miss the blush spreading across his cheeks.

"It ended yesterday. I arrived to Tokyo six hours ago, and I just got to my house– I actually… um…"

"What?"

Rin huffed.

"I was going to your house right now," he admitted quietly.

Haruka's smile grew wider. He would tease Rin about wanting to surprise him even though he was obviously tired later, but that moment felt too good to break it with some senseless argument.

Rin was right, he thought, kissing the first raindrop off his boyfriend's cheek. They weren't children anymore. It was different.

It was better.

* * *

 _Author's Notes_ : I'm officially a sap. But I'm in a fluffy mood lately, so enjoy until the sadistic mood comes back.

What do you think about it? ^^


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